


Better You than Me

by softintelligence



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Spoiler: everyone dies at the end, Super High School Level Generation of Dickbags, Well not in this story but at the end of everything I suppose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-13
Updated: 2013-03-13
Packaged: 2017-12-05 04:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/718782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softintelligence/pseuds/softintelligence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroko no Basuke and Dangan Ronpa crossover. </p><p>Super High School Level Burger Connoisseur can be detectives, too!--with the help of a Super High School Level Analyst, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better You than Me

“Well,” Izuki said, his voice carrying forward from the back of the greenhouse. “I suppose that was the last bubble he’ll ever pop.”

Takao was the only one who reacted. He laughed, shrill with disbelief, and then doubled over and threw up into one of the many pots of thorny roses next to them. 

Momoi narrowed her eyes at Takao. For the past four murders, Takao had merely reacted in stunned silence. The vomiting was new, but then again, the other murders had taken place in a kitchen, a rec room, and a place distant and unknown, only broadcasted on a television screen. But those murders seemed _pedestrian_ compared to the cramped space of the greenhouse, filled with the stench of angel’s trumpets and roses and the nascent smell of Kazuya’s rotting body.

Izuki’s joke was weak, too. That would also need reevaluation. Momoi hadn’t previously considered Izuki or Takao capable of murder, but then again, she hadn’t considered Kasamatsu as capable of murder at first, either. That had been a stupid mistake on her part. He was the Super High School Level _Kickboxer._ He had a perfect weapon: his own body. 

But the past was the past, and even Super High School Level Analysts didn’t always get it right the first time. Momoi had never analyzed high-stress, high-stakes _murder_ situations before, but after investigating two murders and their subsequently murdered murder victims, she was starting to get the hang of it.

Any new data would have to wait for later, though.

She turned her attention back to the pitcher plant and memorized the Kazuya’s outline, which protruded neatly from the purple-veined green skin of the pitcher plant like a perfect, clay mold. His left arm lay on the lawn before them, his hand open around a bloody pack of gum.

Everyone else seemed to be reacting on cue. Momoi took in Kuroko and Himuro’s stoic expressions at the same time she took in Midorima’s look of pure disgust, at the same time she took in Kise’s pursed lips of determination, at the same time as Akashi’s looks of suspicion at those around him, at the same as Aomine’s expression, guarded but annoyed.

Momoi considered it a small blessing that it had taken only five murders for Aomine to wake up and realize that their admission into Hope Academy had turned into a nightmare, even if Aomine’s main source of annoyance was that he couldn’t play basketball during the investigation phase. Hopefully, this time, he would be more willing to help. Otherwise, they would be right where they started at the first trial, when Kasamatsu had accused Aomine of murdering Sakurai over a lousy bento. They had almost all died.

But she filed away Aomine’s growing consciousness and turned to Kagami. She was glad to see that he didn’t have a burger in one hand and another in his mouth. “Ready, Kagamin?” she asked.

“No,” Kagami said. “I am not ready.” He gritted his teeth. “We needed more time.” 

Momoi sighed. She needed more time. Kagami needed more burgers. “Right,” she said, instead. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out. I have a good idea of what’s going on, anyway.”

“You do!?”

Spit flew out of Kagami’s mouth and onto Momoi’s face, and she was never more glad in that moment that she had quickly whittled away at Kagami’s desire to eat burgers 24/7. Super High School Level Burger Connoisseur or not, Kagami’s eating habits were _disgusting._

“Yes,” Momoi said. “Actually, the premise of this High School of Despair is very simple. But we still have to play by some rules, or else.” She cleared her throat. “And you want to impress Akashi-kun, right?”

Momoi followed Kagami’s eyes over to where Akashi was standing, directly at her 7 o’clock. Kagami’s expression turned soft and admiring, a bit dumbfounded, and Momoi rolled her eyes. _Boys._

“Pay attention,” Momoi said, snapping her fingers to draw his eyes back to her. “You need to conduct the investigation on your own this time. I can’t help you.”

Kagami’s eyes widened. Momoi almost thought he might go into shock. “What?!” 

Momoi lowered her voice. “I need to explore the lower levels on my own, and you’re too big. You’ll attract attention.”

“I don’t know where to start,” Kagami said. He looked so helpless as he scanned their small little cast. Momoi let him wander for a bit, listening in on what everyone else was saying. Midorima seemed to be soothing him, in his own way, with the horoscope for Scorpios for the next three days. But even if he was a Super High School Level Horoscope Oracle, he couldn’t predict necessarily predict anything. It was all speculation based on carefully researched astrological generalization. 

Momoi could feel the significant, heavy silence between Kuroko and Akashi, but she didn’t want to turn around and interrupt them. Besides, she was 100% sure that Kuroko was investigating whoever was running Hope Academy too, and more minds wouldn’t hurt when people were dying left and right.

For the rest of the crowd--well. There was, understandably, stunned silence, and maybe a little sniffling. No one had liked Kazuya, but no one wanted to see him brutally murdered by a plant. But Momoi herself was over the whole dead bodies at this point, and over any emotional attachments she had to people. From here on, there were only solutions, and those solutions all included Kagami’s blind luck at convincing the rest of the group just who the murderer was at every trial thus far. Momoi really thought Kagami’s title should have been Super High School Level Good Luck, but these titles were earned, not self-named. 

“Start with Midorima,” Momoi suggested. “I have to go to the second floor now. I’ll meet up with you in an hour, okay? Let’s just come back here.”

“Next to the plant?” Kagami whispered.

“Yes,” Momoi said. “Next to the plant.” 

She glanced back at the pitcher plant, still digesting Kazuya’s body. Super High School Level Gum Chewer, killed by plant acid. 

Well.

All things considered, there were probably worse ways to go.

She just hoped she would never have to experience any of those ways firsthand.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Basketball Poet's Society](http://basketballpoetsociety.tumblr.com/) Challenge #9, "Alternate Universes," which means ... Dangan Ronpa crossover!


End file.
